


DoritoDew Productions presents... Doctor Strange Crackfic!

by DoritoDew



Series: bullshit i pull out of my ass [3]
Category: Ben 10 Series, LazyTown, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Mother 2: Gyiyg no Gyakushuu | EarthBound, Presidential Elections
Genre: 2016 US Presidential Election, Multi, Racism, Underage Kissing, What Was I Thinking?, i haven't watched the movie yet, i'm on serious drugs right now, it's hip to fuck bees, this contains underage so yeah fuck you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 18:33:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8544553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoritoDew/pseuds/DoritoDew
Summary: A bunch of insane adventures all culminate into a gay relationship, the destruction of two highly-populated cities, and horny kids. Also, there's some Yiddish text in here, so take out your Google Translate.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I came up with this because Doctor Strange, the elections, and some other events I won't spoil all happened in November of 2016. Also note that I have not yet watched Doctor Strange, nor have I yet read the full description of the plot on Wikipedia. I was going to put The Nutshack in this story, but I remembered I already included it in another crackfic of mine, The Red Fluid, so I replaced all the Nutshack stuff with Ben 10 stuff.

Stephen Strange awoke one bright sunny day. Wait, did I say sunny? I meant a polluted wasteland where countless innocents are killed daily. Perfectly normal day in Los Angeles. He got up and found that his suit was gone! O noez! I apologize for using that 2009 meme. I accept the 5% Tomatometer score for that. Anyway, Stephen put on another costume of his. It was exactly like the costume he has in the comics, but the colors were changed. The blue was substituted for the bright green you can find on Windows XP MS Paint. The yellow was instead the bright blue also found on Windows XP Paint. All red on the costume was replaced with an entire Problem Solverz episode. Yes, it plays throughout this story on a suit. Finally, Steven put on a mask that looks like a combination of the 2016 Deadpool mask, the classic comics Hawkeye mask, and whatever the hell Pencil Man has on his head. All of this mask has the color pattern of Polka Dot Man. "Hmm, maybe I should give up being Doctor Strange. Instead I should become..." Stepen paused for a bit and looked out the window he left open the previous night. "CAPTAIN FUCKBOY!!!!!" he screamed.

"Ugh, what's goin on out there man?" ~~Retard McGee~~ Ben 10 said to that fucking abomination known only as Gwen. "There's this gay faggot trying to be Captain Fuckboyee, and he literally just called himself that." Gwen said, but he sounded different. Instead of sounding like a crazy teenager girl, she now sounds like Adolf Hitler. Don't worry, they'll come back later.

Stefen then realized something: it's Election Day! He quickly went to his car and drove 100 miles pass the speed limit, killing innocent ethnic minorities in the process, but for some reason, he didn't run over any white people. A thought rushed through his head; who would he vote for? He could vote for Donald Trump who wants to build the Great Wall of Trump and kill 6,000,000 minorities, or Hillary, the super-speed senior citizen who loves to molest young children and brutalized Bernie Sanders so bad it took a month until scientists finally found out it was Sanders. Because STEPHen only likes Asian chicks for their bodies and thinks that all Mexican and Muslims are violent, he decides to go with Donald Turnip. He decides to write his ballot while the car was still on and he crashed it into a building, killings dozens of non-straight white Anglo-Saxon protestants.

He got out of his car right as he finished writing. He ran all the way to the White House in a stereotypically gay manner. Then, a thought came to mind. It was a thought he had forgotten.

_55 years ago..._

_"Look, uh, Strang, my old buddy pal and colleague if the Cubs ever win another world series, I need you to go to Manila, and blow up the capital building there, capische?" the former slave owner of the Cubs said to StevEN STRANGE!!!???_

_"k" Stronge said._

_Now..._

"Awww, shitt, niggaz! I gott do dis!" Doocter Streng said as he went to the airport. The flight was faster than usual because Sonic the Hedgehog designed it. While on the plane, Steevin saw Ness and Paula from EarthBound making out. Dicktor Stringe took a picture of this, hoping to make the rounds on the deep web. "EW YOU FUCKING PEDOPHILE!!!!!"  ~~you the reader~~ Jeff said. He took out a gun and shot Stoovun in the chest, but he quickly healed it. Poo then came out. "What's going on, Jeff?" he said. "That guy is gonna fap to pictures of kids fucking!" Jeff said. "Hmm... never thought I'd use my true form again..."

And before you knew it, Poo was a poop emoji. Poop Daddy from the upcoming emoji movie, to be precise. It was so cancerous that everyone jumped out of the plane. Luckily, the plane was just landing, so the fall wasn't that long. Stephielf then took out his bomb, went to the capital building, and blew it up.

Meanwhile, back n the doomed nation known as the United States, Hillary was in the Oval Office, having murdered Trump and cannibalized some of his supporters. Then, the door opened. It was Kevin Shitlevin, Pedobear, and Sportacus! "What do you cis white men want?" Hitllary asked them. "We just want something from you. Something... simple." Kevin said. He moved closer and closer to Crooked Hillary and, before they knew it, their tongues were meeting each other in a passionate kiss. Pedobear then embraced Clinton, tugging at her vagina. Sportacus then punched Kevin in the dick and started kissing Hillary. Let's get away from this before someone throws up, also, I don't want want lemons in this story.

Meanwhile, Strenge (wait, did I use that misspelling already?) was on the super-fast plane back to Americunt, with the Chosen Four keeping a close eye on him. Poo had since turned back into his human form. He felt strange vibrations in him when he looked at Jeff. They were so strong, it felt like...

Luv.

Poo quickly embraced Jeff and started kissing him. Because they were still technically in the Philippines, that's okay, because the age of consent there 12 and in here, Jeff is 14 while Poo is 17, and Ness and Paula are 13. Just thought I'd clear that up. It was then when another thought came to Strynge's mind. "Damn hell crap muffins, this magic power must be causing me to remember things." he said.

_One year ago..._

_Spheten Sgrante has just met with the slaver owner of the Indians. The baseball team, not the ethnic group._

_"Look, sTEPHEN, IF THE INDIANS EVER LOSE THE 2016 WORLD CUP, I DEMAND YOU TO PERFORM AN ACT OF TERRORISM ON JOHANNESBURG BECAUSE SOUTH AFRICA THOUGHT IT WAS A BRIGHT IDEA TO ABOLISH APARTHEID!!!!!" the Indians' owner said._

_"Okay, will do, fellow KKK member!" Strag said._

Captain Fuccboi knew what to do.

He took out a knife, walked into the pilot's room, and stabbed the pilot before kicking the co-pilot out the door. He took control of the plane and started flying it towards South Africa. He didn't land it, no. He instead put TNT in the passenger room and bathroom because he was going to crash the plane right in the middle of the city. The Chosen Four all jumped out of the plane, with Ness activating PSI Shield Omega to protect them in the fall and explosion. Right before the plane hit the bottom, Strong jumped out of the plane.

The explosion was super effective. *gets pelted with tomatoes for making that joke*

Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton, Kevin, and Pedobear walked out of the Oval Office. Little did Sportacus know, Hillary Clinton has jagged teeth in her vagina. So, yeah, Sportacus' penis got chopped off and now he's writhing on the floor in agony. Fun fact: I felt a little sick after writing that. "Alright, all you privileged cis white male cockroaches!" Clinton said before she realized she said a sentence with the word "cock" in it. She got triggered. She took out a gun and started killing people left and right. Kevin turned into one of the alien faggots and ate some people without chewing! How rude! Pedobear then turned into the Evil Jew meme (somehow I didn't offend myself by saying that) and started stealing everyone's shekels and using them for his advantage as throwing stars.

Meanwhile, Doctor Striinge kidnapped the Chosen Four in a plane and started heading towards America. "וואָס זענען איר טאן דעם איר מעשוגע פּעדאָפילע !?" Ness asked, forgetting that he's American. "Yeah, why?" Paula agreed. "Streenge, I thought you were a super _hero_!" Jeff said. "I've never heard of Doctor Strange before, and I want to chug bleach." Poo said. "You can turn into a fucking poop emoji, so don't whine about there being no bleach nearby! Anyway, I've kidnapped you because you have something I need..." Strogonovski said. "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US!!!???" the chosen four all yelled. "Your PSI! I need to harness your PSI in my plan to kill Hillary Clinton." Doctor Strangelove said. "Wait, I thought you were voting for Clintfaggot." Ness said. "I changed my mind. I realized that a white supremecist makes a much better president then whatever the fuck Shillary is." Steeeveeen said. He then landed the plane in Washington DC and ran to the White House.

"Doctor Strangegofuckyourself, I thought you would be occupied with the thoughts I telepathically injected into your mind..." Clint-fuckin-on said. "What do you mean by that?" Strng asked. "Hahaha, you silly cis white male faggot! Magic doesn't exist! All the magic you ever did was all an elaborate ruse by me using special effects. You don't have the ability to remember anything, I just orchestrated every thing you did and put the thoughts into your mind! Remember when the Cubs' owner told you to attack Manila if the Cubs broke the status quo on won? That was me, I dressed as a boy to get your sexist ass to listen to me. Remember one year ago when the Indians' owner told you to commit terrorism in Johannesburg if the Indians lost the 2016 world series? That was me, once again, I dressed as a boy to get you to listen to me!" Hillary explained.

"But why? Why would you do this?" Stavenstevenstivenstovenstuvenstyven asked. "Well, it's a long story. Ever since I was a child, I had to put up with cis white men. At first I liked it, but then, I went off the edge. I met Bill Clinton, who told me that if I gave him the world's largest cup of tea, he would give me the necessary equipment to kill everyone in the city I lived in. So, I gave him the teacup, and he gave me a minigun, five katanas, and a minigun that can shoot katanas. Killing all those people awoke something in me. I wanted to attack Manila because the Philippines didn't support either side in the Vietnam war, I wanted to bomb Johannesburg because of their apartheid. But I didn't have the equipment to do so, I had to manipulate you into doing my tasks. However, I realized that the Cubs weren't winning any time soon, so I gave them steroids to win so that you could carry out my tasks." Clinton explained more. "However, since you completed all the tasks, you are of no use to me anymore. See you in oblivion." she said.

She then transformed in to her true form. Her true form looked like the fusion of Godzilla, Perfect Chaos, the Enderdragon and Puffy Fluffy's monster form. She grabbed a tower with ease and threw it at Stingy. He was able to get away from it and got in his car so he could drive off to his secret laboratory in Maryland. He then put the Chosen Four in tubes and started operating the control panel before the kids got flung into a machine. Doctor Strangeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee then got into a robot which had the machine the kids were in. He then maneuvered the giant robot to Washington DC. He noticed that Hillary was killing people for no reason. The robot, known as Fuckatron, punched Clinton.

"OW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You little faggot!!!" Clinton yelled before a fist fight between the two erupted. The fight destroyed tons of buildings and killed a lot of people. Sadly, Clinton won by tearing off the arms of Fuckatron. Doctor Strange quickly  ~~ejaculated~~ ejected out of the robot as the bot started spewing PSI energy that knocked Clinton right into Richmond, Virginia. She then turned into her final form. Her final form looked like a fusion of Godzilla, Perfect Chaos, the Enderdragon, Puffy Fluffy, Cthulu, and Alexandrite. She flew over to the robot and grabbed the legs. She pull them off and, while it was still in the air, she kicked the torso so hard it landed in Praia, Cabo Verde. Doctor Strangeimgonnakillmyself then landed on the ground. "Hahaha! Not so powerful anymore, eh?" Clinton said. Doctor Strange looked hopeless.

"Dammit, is this how my life ends? There is no hope..." Strange said. He looked at Trump's lifeless body. He wanted to do something before he died and hoped that this would work. He walked over to Trump and kissed him on the lips. This was able to revive Trump. "Alright, Clinton, what's you game?" Trump assked. "Oh, silly Trump. I just want the Oval Office." Clinton said before stepping on trump. There was a long silence. Suddenly, Clinton's monster foot was being lifted up by Trump, who apparently has super strength. "Trump! How did you get that much strength?" Stevey S asked. "I eat, Jon. It's what I do." Trump said. "My name's not Jon." Strangefag said.

Donald Trump then breathed fire on Clinton, burning her leg. Clinton then grabbed Trump and threw him on the ground. Trump got up and started yelling. He had gone Super Saiyan. His hair was all spiky and he wasn't wearing a shirt, which made any surviving children cry. Trump snapped all their necks because he somehow knew they were Mexican. He then flew up. He did a strong combo (for reference, press square, square, triangle on your PlayStation controller, or X, X, Y on your Xbox controller. There is no Nintendo console version because it wasn't released for Nintendo consoles). Hillary Clinton dabbed at Trump, which sent him flying away. He was able to stop himself and shot web at Clinton, creating a web net. He then started spinning holding the web net and threw it at Baltimore, which created a huge explosion. Hillary started flying and chased Donald Trump into Greece.

In Greece, Hillary used some ancient pillars to hit Donald Trump. Trump dodged the first two swings, but when Hillary smashed the pillars into each other, Trump got hurt. They then flew to Madrid, where Trump punched her right into the capital building, completely destroying the city. The two then flew to Antarctica, where Hillary threw Trump into the icy waters, freezing him into a block of ice. She grabbed the ice and flew to Beijing, hoping to throw the ice block at a mountain to kill Trump, but Trump broke free of the ice and the two fought in Beijing, breaking parts of the Great Wall. They then went to Brazil and had a fight in Rio. Wanna know what the fight was like? Play Skyrim, imagine the dragon as Hillary, yourself as Trump, and lose the battle. That's how the fight was. Anyway, they then went to Egypt. There, Hillary used her Clinton tech to make the Sphinx come alive. Trump then mind controlled the Sphinx into hitting Hillary. The two then went to somewhere in Kiribati. Hillary stomped on trump and sank the island. The two then went back to America, very bruised and beaten up.

Doctor Strongo realized that Trump was in trouble, so he transformed into his final form. He then had a Sailor Moon costume and has giant functioning butterfly wings. He had a hairy demon tail that was flashing bright colors, along with huge muscles that borked like doggos, sunglasses that play full episodes of Jersey Shore, and his hairs and body hairs were all varying in color. He also had a giant glowing ring behind him. He was significantly taller than his base form. Pedobear tried to rape him, bt this new form, known as Sailor Moonshine, ripped his head off with ease. Kevin turned into a huge monster, but Ben 10 and Gwen killed him. "Hey, that's  _our_ kill!" Ten Bennyson said before turning into that retarded muscled alien. Sailor Moonshine completely obliterated Gwen and absorbed her life force using the giant ring. This ring then shot rainbows at Ben 10, killing him instantly.

Just then, another figure showed up. It was... Sportarobbie, the fusion of Sportacus and Robbie Rotten! He ran to Hillary and formed a yuge ball of energy. Sailor Moonshine absorbed the life force of Pedobear, Kevin, Ben 10, and Gwen using the giant ring, while Trump started fusing all of his powers. They all hit Hillary with their energy at once, completely blowing up Washington DC, the cities surrounding it, the cities surrounding those cities, and the cities surrounding  _those_ cities.

The only building left unharmed in the blast radius was the White House, despite this happening right next to the initial explosion. "Hey, uh, why was the White House completely unharmed?" Sailor Moonshine said. "Because when it was being created, George Washington hired some pagans to give the building a magic spell to protect it from any explosion no matter how powerful it may be." Trump said. They noticed that Hillary was struggling to get up, but Sportarobbie stepped on her head, destroying it, also leaving a huge bloodstain on the ground and on Sportarobbie's suit. "So... what do we do now? Am I president?" Trump asked. "Sure." Sailor Moonshine before embracing and kissing Trump. Sailor Moonshine then flew off with Trump in his arms.

But I hear you say, "what about the EarthBound characters?" Well, they made it out of the robot safely, but now they're stuck in Cabo Verde, which, to be fair, isn't as bad as landing in, say, Niger. After they took care of their injuries, Ness' mom came to help them, Ness had his Bar Mitzvah, and Ness, Paula, and Jeff had a threesome. Poo helped them here and there and he was filming because he wanted to make the rounds on the deep web.

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly don't know what to put here. I'm just a curly-haired Jew who only writes because I've lost control of my life.


End file.
